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Hello. This is my first posting here and actually my first time writing Harry/Ron despite it being my current OTP. Had to play with this since wolfiekins gave me such wonderful inspiration.

This fic is based on this icon:

Title: Me, Myself and I
Pairing: Harry/Ron
Rating: Adults Only/Mature
Spoilers: Written directly following DH, so spoilers for the entire book including the epilogue.
Warnings: Elevator sex.
Disclaimer: Not mine, please don't sue.
Author's note: Unbetaed, because I still really haven't found anyone to beta my Harry Potter stuff yet. May eventually be crossposted depending on reaction I get from this, if any. Written for the bestmeatsawards Smutty Epilogue Challenge. Some lines taken directly for the epilogue of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.





Me, Myself and I



The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell.

"He'll be alright," murmured Ginny.

As Harry looked at her, he lowered his hand absentmindedly and touched the lightning scar on his head.

"I know he will."

The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.


Laughter filled the small café and several heads turned to stare at the ginger haired man cackling madly in the corner. His partner, darker and noticeably small, did his best to quiet his friend, whispering loudly over the laughter.

Finally, the freckled man quieted as he used a napkin to wipe the tears from his damp cheeks.

"Oh man," Ron whispered as he folded his copy of Witch Weekly and laid it on the table. "That's the best laugh I've had in ages."

Harry chuckled lightly at his best mate's expression. "I honestly think it's the best thing she's ever written about me."

"Us," Ron corrected. "And you can't be serious? That was the corniest piece of tripe I've ever read. I was just waiting for her to tell us she could see your eyes swimming with the ghosts of your past."

Harry laughed out loud, chucking his napkin at his giggling mate.

"Honestly! It reads like something Ginny might have written during her first year, you know?"

They laughed louder at that as they finished the last of their lunch.

"How is it she always finds us?" Ron asked quietly after a long stretch of silence.

"Unregistered animagus, remember? Plus she knows about the kids. Of course, she's going to be at King's Cross. She wouldn't want to miss out on a story like that."

Ron nodded, picking at the last of the chips on his plate. "What I want to know is how you always get her to write what you want her to say. Are you still blackmailing her?"

"No," Harry began before stopping to think for a moment. "Well, yes, actually I am still holding a few things over her, but I let her write what she sees as the truth."

Blue eyes flew open wide as Ron gaped at the raven-haired boy. "You used confundus her," Ron whispered in awe.

"I did not," Harry confessed quietly.

"Oh," Ron deflated, a little disappointed.

"I confunded her Quick Quotes Quills."

"Brilliant!" Ron shouted, pleased at his mates ingenuity. "I should have known when it said Draco had a receding hairline. You know he's probably already owled the magazine, demanding a retraction."

"I might not should have done that," Harry admitted softly, "But I just couldn't help myself."

"You know," Ron whispered, husky and deep, "I like it when you're a bit evil, Harry Potter."

The flush that covered Harry's cheeks burned bright, making Ron smile all the wider.

"So..?" Ron started, drawing the word out, long and light. "What time do we have to meet Hermione to pick up the Lily and Hugo?"

Checking his watch, Harry said, "We have almost an hour before we have to meet Hermione at her flat. We're taking them to Godric's Hollow for the night after our day at the zoo. Then Ginny's coming to get them at the end of the week."

"Who made up that arrangement?" Ron complained, sounding grumpy. "We only get a couple of hours on our own? I call foul. Hermione's probably going to be off gallivanting with Krum while Ginny's doing something I don't even want to think about. I mean, honestly, why doesn't anyone ever include me in these things?"

Harry shook his head. "You're such a git," he swore with a smirk. "You were sitting right there, Ron. We were all at the Burrow and you were listening to the Canons versus the Sirens."

Ron cursed loudly, drawing the attention of several other diners. "You honestly expected me to be paying attention to a serious conversation during Quidditch season? I thought you knew me better than that."

"I know you better than anyone at all, Ronald Weasley," Harry practically purred as he dragged the toe of his trainers up Ron's long, lean denim covered leg. "Besides, we've been planning this trip to the zoo for a long time. Lily and Hugo are going to be feeling left out and the trip will be a nice distraction. Besides, we'll have all of the weekend to ourselves."

Ron smirked wickedly. "You mean we might actually get to christen the new couch?"

"Yeah," Harry groaned throatily, "As long as we don't tell the girls about it."

The freckled man laughed loudly as he shoved the last of his chips in his mouth before reaching across the table to snag the last on Harry's plate and scarfing them as well. Harry chuckled at the appetite that remained in full force in his best mate. There were so many things that Ron retained for his youth that always made Harry smile. For all they had been through, Ron had remained steadfast in who he was.

Sure, there had been changes. Ron had loved Hermione and Harry had loved Ginny. It was nearly perfect, too good to be true. In the end, it was.

Harry had tried so hard to have the perfect life with Ginny. He wanted a family and a career and all the things that his father and Sirius and Remus never got the chance to have. But he knew something wasn't right.

And there was Ron, steadfast and strong, just like he'd always been. Ron, his best mate, loyal and true, at his side when Harry needed him. Then suddenly, one day, it all fell into place. Harry loved Ginny, but he was in love with Ron. The resulting confession was terrifying but somehow, they had all survived and even became closer because of it.

Harry got the family he'd always wanted when Ginny offered to be carry his children. When Hermione offered the same for Ron, the young men were floored. The arrangement served them all well. Hermione lived in London so she could go to school at a Muggle University and still work at the Ministry of Magic. Harry and Ron shared a house close to the destroyed memorial of his parent's home and Ginny kept her own place in Hogsmeade.

It was an unorthodox situation but it suited them all well.

Harry loved his life and if it took him manipulating a little quill here or there to maintain that, his conscious would remain clear.

Ron finally finished chewing and swallowing the food crammed into him mouth before mumbling, "Are we ready?"

The smile on Harry's face was blinding. "More than."

After Harry dropped enough money on the table to cover their lunch, the two men made their way toward Hermione's building. Walking through the lobby, Harry and Ron waved to the guard at his normal post.

"Morning, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley," the young blond called to them, smiling widely.

"It's afternoon, Nigel," Harry called over his shoulder as they walked toward the closest lift. Ron rolled his eyes as the blond boy giggled at the use of his first name by the handsome visitors.

The two mates stepped into the small room and Harry pressed the button for the 5th floor. Ron shuddered lightly as the lift slowly began its ascent. Harry reached over, pulling the taller man to him to comfort him.

"Hate these things," Ron muttered quietly as he pressed his cheek against the wild raven hair.

Pulling him closer, Harry chuckled lightly. "You don't have any problem with the lifts at the Ministry," he pointed out.

"Those run on magic," Ron explained. "At least I know those aren't going to plunge down twenty stories or anything."

Reaching out slowly, Harry pressed the emergency stop button, causing the lift of come to an abrupt halt.

"What the bloody hell?" Ron asked, panic and anger coloring his voice.

"Just thought I'd give you something to take your mind off the lift." Harry smirked as he stepped forward, forcing his lover to step back, pressing the taller boy into the hard metal wall.

Ron moaned loudly as Harry began to nibble the strong jawline before trailing sucking kisses down the long, lean line of Ron's neck. The ginger head thudded loudly against the wall as Harry pushed up the soft cotton t-shirt, exposing Ron's freckled, ginger fuzzed torso to the lift's cool air.

"Bloody hell," Ron whispered as his lover's head dipped down to find a hard, peaked nipple. Harry chuckled as he bit down harshly laving the aching bud with the flat of his tongue. Sinfully warm lips trailed down Ron's torso, kissing and sucking between playful, teasing nips of teeth. Ron moaned, low and deep, sliding down the wall of the elevator a fraction of an inch before Harry pinned him, halting his progress.

To the freckled man's astonishment, Harry continued downward, first circling Ron's navel before dipping ever lower.

"Harry," Ron gasped. "What are you doing?"

Emerald eyes caught shocked blue before Harry winked wickedly. His deft seekers fingers made quick work of the button and zip of Ron's jeans, easily exposing the trembling man from collarbone to knees. Before Ron could squeak out a word of protest, Harry darted down, engulfing Ron's aching erection.

Ron's head thudded heavily against the metal wall of the lift. He moaned loudly as his best mate worked him hard and fast, sucking hard on the way up before circling his tongue around the head, twirling beneath the foreskin before dipping into the slit. Strong keeper's fingers tightly gripped the raven head bopping up and down. Ron was caught, hypnotized by the addictive motion. His moans bounced and echoed in the tiny space.

"Harry," Ron warned quietly.

"Harry," he tried again more forcefully.

"Harry!" Ron shouted, pulling the other man away by the hair.

"What?" Harry asked innocently as he licked the moisture still clinging to his lips.

"I was about to blow, mate."

"I know," Harry smirked as he stood slowly, kissing every piece of exposed skin he could along the way. "Kinda the point, that."

"Want you inside me," Ron practically purred.

"Well, if you insist," Harry replied before biting down lightly on Ron's full bottom lip. Hands grasped and groped all over Ron's trembling body as Harry turned him to face the wall he'd previously been abusing with the back of his head. Ron groaned as warm, rough fingertips traced the curve of his exposed ass.

"What's taking so long, Harry?" Ron complained.

Harry responded with a sharp smack to Ron's right cheek. Ron gasped and wiggled back against the palm slowly stroking his abused skin.

"Impatient prat," Harry complained lovingly.

Harry watched as Ron waited patiently for him to strip. Lowering his jeans, he reached into his front pocket to pull out the small tube he'd hidden there. He coated his fingers with a thick layer of cool wet lube before reaching for his lover. He smiled widely when Ron gasped and jumped when he felt slick fingers sliding over his sensitive skin.

"What the..?" he asked as his head whipped around to see what Harry was doing.

Harry chuckled softly, holding up the tube of lubricate in explanation.

"Why don't you just use the spell?"

"Nigel," Harry whispered, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb.

Ron looked over Harry's shoulder and finally noticed, close to the ceiling, a small camera pointed directly at them.

"Bloody hell," he cursed quietly while Harry laughed. "So that's why Nigel is always smiling at us like that."

Harry laughed harder as he slipped two slick fingers deep inside Ron. Head thrown back, the freckled man groaned loudly at the invasion. Harry worked him quickly, slicking and stretching him with practiced ease. Soon, Ron was practically mewling, arching against the fingers deep inside him, begging for more.

"Now, Harry," Ron demanded roughly.

Ron sighed as Harry readily complied. He braced his hands against the cool metal wall of the lift, his fingers curling and grasping at the unyielding surface. Harry made sure his thrusts were hard and unforgiving, forcing Ron to take each one, to revel in the feeling of Harry filling him, completing him.

The tiny lift was filled with the groans and curses of the two men as they rolled and rutted, thrust and arched. They kissed and scratched, licked and bit. Taking, fucking, loving.

Ron cried out, his release pouring from him without a single touch to his needy erection. Harry followed closely behind, biting Ron's sweaty shoulder as he shuddered, filling Ron completely.

They stood propped against the cool metal, both men breathing as if they had just run a marathon. Slowly, they began to catch their breath when Harry's watch began to speak.

"You're late," the watch said in Hermione's annoyed tone.

"Bloody hell," Ron cursed as he scrambled to pull on his jeans.

"We're so dead," Harry chuckled as he hurried to comply.

As soon as they were covered, Harry pushed the button to start the lift moving again. Ron jumped faintly at the slight lurch, making Harry shake his head and laugh under his breath. The freckled man reached out, pushing his lover on the shoulder. A full fledge fight was averted by the doors to the lift sliding open and the horrified shriek of "Merlin's Pants!"

Both men tried to hide their laughter behind their hands, neither succeeding very well.

"Can't you two give it rest for five minutes?" the livid brunette continued. "Honestly, you two look completely shagged out."

"She got it right in one," Ron whispered to Harry, cringing when he didn't move fast enough to avoid Hermione cuffing him upside the head.

"Ow!" Ron cried, clutching the side of his head. "What was that for? We're here, aren't we?"

"Yes," Hermione snipped. "But you're late and Hugo and Lily have been getting impatient to get to the zoo. You are still going to take them to the zoo, aren't you?"

"Of course we are," Harry answered as he darted forward, swooping Lily up into his arms. "We want to see the lions and tigers and bears."

"Oh my!" Hermione cried.

Harry laughed as Ron, Lily and Hugo just stared at the smiling woman.

"What!?" she said. "Honestly. We need to show this family more of the classics."

"Oh, like Scarface!" Ron exclaimed. "I loved that movie." He got into position and growled, "Say hello to my little friend."

Hermione's brown eyes rolled deep into the back of her head after she watched Ron's horrible Pacino impersonation. "Please tell me you didn't let the children watch that movie."

"Of course not," Harry protested. "We did a guy's movie night when you and Ginny had the kids last week. Now, are we ready to go?"

"Yeah!" both children yelled loudly.

Ron reached down and lifted Hugo up to plant the boy high on his shoulders. The happy family smiled as Hermione reached over to push the button to call for the lift. The doors that just closed opened again and Hermione paused before stepping in.

"Let's take the next one."

Harry and Ron laughed heartily as the children looked on confused.

They were happy and whole and Harry knew this was the way it was supposed to be.

All really was well.

~~~The End~~~

Comments

( 27 Voyeurs — Whaddya think? )
mrsquizzical
Aug. 19th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
it IS an inspiring icon. :~)
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
It most certainly was. *g*
wolfiekins
Aug. 19th, 2007 12:27 am (UTC)
Wow, so many firsts with this story! I really enjoyed the boys' playful banter. So many great little details...and elevator hawtness, to boot! Loved Harry's watch speaking in Hermione's voice. Very nicely done! I'm glad the icon was so inspiriing!
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
I saw your icon and this idea just would not leave me alone. I loved the idea that Rita Skeeter wrote the epilogue. I made myself giggle. This was actually supposed to be shorter with just the smuttiness, but Harry just wouldn't shut up. *g* I'm so glad you liked.

*hugs*
hedwigs_bane
Aug. 19th, 2007 02:04 am (UTC)
A Confunded quill! Of course! It all makes perfect sense now!

Very nice epilogue correction, though I'm not sure how JKR would feel about, "Honestly! It reads like something Ginny might have written during her first year, you know?" LOL

Very nicely done!
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:46 am (UTC)
*giggles*

I couldn't help myself. Everyone kept saying how it sounded like a 12 year old wrote it, so I had to throw that in there. I'm so glad you liked this.

*hugs*
brumeux77
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
Hermione paused before stepping in

LOL

It's always been one of my favorite icons. :) Loved voyeuristic Nigel!
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)
Hee! I loved Nigel. I got the name while watching So You Think You Can Dance. I hope he doesn't mind. *giggles* That elevator must have smelled like smelled like sex on a stick. *purrs*

I'm glad you liked.
abusing_sarcasm
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:44 am (UTC)
I love it!

Elevator sex FTW! And lol at Nigel watching the show! What I wouldn't give to switch places with him... :)
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
I know! I'd so be recording everytime they showed up. I'm so glad you liked.

Btw, your icon is the shit!!
earth_dragon
Aug. 19th, 2007 04:58 am (UTC)
this is your *first* harry/ron? i can't wait to read more from you! great one.
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 05:28 am (UTC)
*giggles* I've written a lot of slash, just not in this 'verse. I'm normally a Buffy writer, but I've done a few Harry Potter stories as it has recently been taking over my brain. This is just my first actual Harry/Ron. I'm so glad you like. I'm sure there will be more. *g*

And thanks for that. Really made me feel good.
maple_mahogany
Aug. 19th, 2007 06:22 am (UTC)
They kissed and scratched, licked and bit. Taking, fucking, loving.


Oooh - I liked that.

Welcome to Harry/Ron! The boys are a beautiful thing. :)
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 07:14 am (UTC)
Hee! Yay. I'm so glad you liked. I really loved writing this.

Thanks! I'm happy to try and give happiness to the boys. *bounces*
dane_wiltshire
Aug. 19th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Ooh, what great fun that was. I love the dialogue...it feels comfortable, established and genuine. The little details of scene-setting are very nice...enough to build those pictures in mind when I read. Then there's the smut!

That Harry carried a packet of lube in his pocket...the naughty little voyeur had all that planned in advance. Either that or he was prepared for any chance to shag Ron. And who could fault him that?

I hope to see some more Harry/Ron from you from time to time. This made me smile for many, many reasons.
strickens_girl
Aug. 19th, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
*bounces*

Yay! I'm so happy you liked this. It really was too much fun to write. Once the idea took hold, it wouldn't go away. I love that. *g*

*hugs*
domerupert
Aug. 20th, 2007 04:14 am (UTC)
The icon is GUH! I always loved that part in the video.

Ron cursed loudly, drawing the attention of several other diners. "You honestly expected me to be paying attention to a serious conversation during Quidditch season? I thought you knew me better than that."
hahaha that is Ron! I love it!

The sex in the elevator... killed me. So hot! And Harry knowing Nigel was looking! The sneak!! But like Ron said, he likes it when he's a bit evil.

Great job!!! ♥
plotbunniofdoom
Aug. 20th, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC)
Wow! Great stuff. :-)

rickey_a
Aug. 20th, 2007 05:16 pm (UTC)
mmmm elevator sex & an exhibition
tasty
fun
thanks
siriusslash
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
This was soooo bloddy brilliant and damn hot!!!! Well done!
shes_gone
Aug. 20th, 2007 07:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, to be Nigel, the lucky bastard. This is completely delicious. :) Nice work!
pghpatronus
Aug. 20th, 2007 09:04 pm (UTC)
"We want to see the lions and tigers and bears."

"Oh my!" Hermione cried.

LOL!!!!!!!!!

*watches with Nigel*

Love the elevator sex!
koshweasley
Aug. 21st, 2007 04:01 pm (UTC)
Me, Myself and I
That is probably my favourite icon he has. Damn nice:)

And your fic does it justice too - sooo yummy.

"We want to see the lions and tigers and bears."

"Oh my!" Hermione cried.


LOL, and I think I've only seen that movie, once? I can see Hermione rolling her eyes at me already. Nice and juicy, and I love the voyeur, Nigel.
lycan_bane
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
this was very hot. i liked the elevator sex and voyeur Nigel. good job.
lena3
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:10 am (UTC)
I think everyone wants to be Nigel. Smart guy! Great job. :)
neko_taka
Aug. 27th, 2007 09:57 pm (UTC)
Mmmm...elevator sex...*grins* Very hot.
ronshouseelf
Sep. 1st, 2007 07:35 pm (UTC)
They kissed and scratched, licked and bit.

grrrrrrrrr i just love that. what a hot and passionate relationship they have.
( 27 Voyeurs — Whaddya think? )

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